A few weeks ago, I decided to see what all the hubbub was about. You know, the hubbub surrounding that ever popular organization for retired drunks, condemned quitters and judgmental born-again Christians known as Alcoholics Anonymous.

For over a month now I’ve been drunk free. Notice how I didn’t say drink free. Drunk free means I allow myself a drink (as in one drink) at night, usually a scotch and usually around 9:00pm. I nurse the damn thing until the cows come home, shit all over the meadow, are butchered and appear in the meats section at your local grocers. Drunk free means I haven’t been buzzed or wasted. Drunk free means I’m craving sweets like crazy. Drunk free means I bought a pack of Marlboro Lights last week. And guess what!? It’s working.

At my first and only AA meeting here in Tokyo, I was confronted by the force of a collective raised eyebrow and an intense, accusatory gaze. It demanded to know, “What are you doing here?” To which I replied, “To learn more about the Church of Latter Day Saints.” Dead silence. I think I heard a cricket commit suicide.

I quickly learned that in order to attend the meetings regularly you had to stop drinking completely. If you didn’t, you weren’t welcome back. If you did, they had some cool-aid for you to drink.

So I’m going it alone. I honestly thought it would be harder than it has been. Will I get drunk in the future? Certainly. Will that future be anytime soon? Probably not. Why the fuck not? Because I like knowing that I have control over me and it’s become a bit of a game. And God knows, I like me a good game and will not give up so easily…give up drinking that is.

I swear I will kill the next person who asks me when I’m taking my summer vacation.
Every summer, I go through this routine where person after person asks me if I’m taking a summer break. When I say “no,” there’s this shocked pause, followed by sympathetic sounds. It’s all just really tiresome.

Where does it say that everyone should take summer vacation, and if you’re not, you’re to be pitied? People here just don’t seem to understand that Americans take vacation whenever it suits them during the year. I don’t want to take a vacation during the summer when all the schools are on summer break, everything is crowded and expensive AND it’s hot no matter where you go unless you’re going south of the equator, where it’s winter. I happen to like working through the summer and taking my big vacation in the early spring (which incidentally shocks people too, though with envy)

Some things, I just wish people would leave me alone about.

Japanese cabs used to not only be clean, but the drivers were some of the best there is. They knew every road, every shortcut, every trick for getting around traffic. Not anymore. Yes, the cabs are still clean. But the drivers are clueless. In this spirit, here is my list of cabs that I hate.

- Cab drivers, who deliberately take congested roads, thereby driving up the fare. Everyone knows that Roppongi Dori is busy especially in the evening. Don’t take it.
- Cab drivers, who don’t know where they’re going. If you’re going to be a cab driver, at least know where the major intersections are.
- Cab drivers, who only know the major roads, or at least pretend to. This adds on a few hundred yen sometimes.
- Cab drivers, who don’t know where they’re going but won’t admit it.
- Cab drivers, who drive slow on purpose.
- Lazy cab drivers, who drive by and pretend not to see you because they don’t want to pick up the fare.

I’m getting worked up just thinking about this.