I recently got a part-time gig teaching kids at an after school program close to my apartment. I’m working with kids. Kids. You know, the little people who haven’t yet mastered the art of driving or coloring within the lines.

Now I never had any desire to work with the kiddies. Back in college, I earned a secondary teaching certificate so that I could avoid the little ones. A primary teaching certificate was for those women who peppered their speech with words like “cute” and “adorable” and for men who were too creepy to comprehend. School-themed bowties my ass.

And now, half way around the world, I find myself reading “Clifford the Big Red Dog” at storytime. The kids are sprawled out around me focusing on my every word. I’m a celebrity. It’s intoxicating.

The Valentine’s Day cards I received in my homemade Valentine’s Day box had me laughing out loud when I read them in my kitchen. When my partner got home from work, I read them to him and said things like, “Isn’t that cute?” and “That kid is adorable.”

What next? A creepy school-themed bowtie? I’d rather jump in front of an oncoming train.

My middle sister and I (I’ve got two) see each other once or twice a year at best. When we do, shopping is definitely high on our list of things to do, especially because my sister is really into fashion. She’s going to fashion school right now, so she can get into the industry, but even before that she used to know which fabrics, colors and cuts looked good on people, as opposed to on mannequins. I like to look good, but I don’t have her eye, so she basically helps me dress.

The last time I was in the U.S., we spent some time together in Las Vegas where I had a business trip. After several hours of helping me shop, we ended up at the Hardrock Hotel after dinner, where she was on the hunt for a pink or red Ed Hardy baseball cap. She swore that these caps were all the rage, and you couldn’t find them anywhere. Well, it turned out that Hardrock had a store with a huge Ed Hardy corner and tons of these caps. Ed Hardy was apparently a famous tattoo artist and the cap featured some of his work, including several that said things like “Love Kills Slowly”. Let’s just say they left an impression.

The only drawback was that it cost $77, but my sister swore up and down again that it was worth it. She encouraged me to buy one too, arguing that it would make me one of the coolest people in Tokyo and I might even be ahead of the trend. In truth, I figure she was hoping that she would end up with it especially after we agreed that she would buy it off of me for $50 if I didn’t wear it by mid-spring.  

I don’t know how but she convinced me, so I’m now the proud (?) owner of a brown Ed Hardy baseball cap. I haven’t worn it yet because I’m not quite sure what the right situation is to wear a hat like that.