It’s rare that I get enough personal space in Japan. This might not be a surprise to you since everyone knows Japan is a small, crowded country. But even so, the lack of respect (or need) for personal space is somewhat shocking.

I was in a fairly crowded train on the way home from work today, but it wasn’t so packed that you had no space. A couple minutes after I got on, I feel a woman’s arm knocking against my head. I turned a little to find a fashionably dressed woman holding onto a strap above me while talking to a friend. It didn’t bother her one bit that she kept bumping against my head. She could dress to the nines and she’d still be lame.

The worst is when people are trying to get through a crowd. Many Japanese literally use their hands to shove people aside. I really don’t think they think about what they’re doing, and they certainly don’t understand how rude this is. But it’s maddening.

It doesn’t stop with trains. I will never forget a United flight I took from San Francisco to Tokyo about five years ago. I point out that it’s United because it’s used by price-conscious Japanese (i.e. less traveled i.e. less sophisticated). I was sitting in the center section in economy, one seat in from the aisle with my seat pocket stuffled with magazines and books that I brought to read during the flight. About an hour in, I notice an arm reaching across from the aisle towards my magazines. It was a 50 something old Japanese woman, who seemed to feel like it was her God-given right to reach in and take what she wanted. I was speechless. Then, if that weren’t enough, the woman next to me reaches in for a magazine. She claimed that she thought the magazines belonged to the airline.

That just pissed me off even more. Even if it were United’s, I obviously had it because I wanted to read it. Besides, even the most unsophisticated idiot knows not to touch someone else’s seat pocket. It burns me just to think about it.

If you didn’t think this was possible, it is. I was watching a Japanese variety show on television today in which regular people, who had something to boast of, showed up. The first one up was a woman, who could turn her hand twice in a row (in the same direction). The next was a three-year old girl, who could take powder medication without any water (yuck), and the third was a two-year old, who can do division.

The last person was a young woman, who showed up with a the collar of a men’s shirt buttoned around her waist. Yes, sirree. Her waist was 53 centimeters, or roughly 21 inches. Her bust, waist and hip size was 83 cm, 53 cm, 80 cm. In one word: “Yuck”.

Many of our friends and family, who have come to visit us, have noticed that Japanese people tend to be slim, and there are few obese, especially to the degree you can find in the United States. On the other end of the spectrum though you do see people (mostly women), who are disgustingly thin. The woman on TV is one example, but at least her ribs weren’t sticking out and her arms didn’t look like they would break if you bumped into her. I’ve seen more anorexic-looking women in Japan than I’ve seen anywhere else.

I’ve always wanted to be a size 4 and I still would like to get more fit, but these days, I have no desire to be like these women I see walking around. I saw how they look naked when I went to a hot springs spa in Tokyo with some girl friends a few weeks ago, and they’re not much to look at underneath the fashionable clothes. No curves, no breasts, not much of really anything.

All I could think about when I saw this woman on TV was, “How will she be able to bear children?” and “How does she have sex without her boyfriend breaking her in half?”

A Japanese discount grocery store chain that specializes in meat looks like it has latched onto the Atkins Diet. The Ginza location of Hanamasa had a large sign in front of its store that said: Be healthy and eat a low-carb diet. Buy meat.

Seriously though, it’s probably impossible to go on the Atkins Diet in Japan, even if you wanted to. Japanese food is healthy, but it’s also starch intensive. Almost any dish I can think of includes some carbs. Just think: udon noodles, sushi, curry, rice bowls with chicken, meat, fish… the list goes on.

It’ll be interesting to see if the low-carb diet takes hold at all in Japan.

The Japanese fixation with mobile phones is pretty well known, but I had to laugh today when I saw a teenager on the train, who had fallen completely asleep… with an open cell phone in her hand. Her finger was on the key pad. On the way home after visiting my grandparents, I saw an older woman as well, also asleep, also with an open cell phone in her hand. Funnier still was a young woman, who was sending an SMS even as she was falling asleep.

That’s true devotion in my opinion.

My mom is in town, so I’ve been staying up a little bit later, and I’m a little sleep deprived, so the topic foremost on my mind is sleep, or the lack thereof.

I’ve seen a lot of articles that talk about how people should have 8 to 9 hours of sleep. By those standards, most of Japan doesn’t get enough sleep.

I was at dinner with an executive last week, in which he mentioned that he sleeps a lot. I asked him to define “a lot” and he said, “six hours”. The other woman I was with was surprised by that, not because it was so little, but because it was so much. She apparently gets 4 to 5 hours every night. The fact that I need 8 hours of sleep was beyond their comprehension.

These people were not exceptions. I have a lot of friends that regularly get six hours or less. My own father thinks he sleeps a lot, and he only gets five hours. No wonder, sleeping is the weekend activity of choice for many of them.

Everyone knows Japanese people can get pretty crazy about expensive European and U.S. brands like Chanel, Prada, Gucci and yes, even Coach. It’s ridiculous enough that they’re willing to shell out $300 for a Hermes mobile phone charm or $80 for a Coach key chain, but it’s even funnier when you see them go crazy over supposed foreign brands that you never hear about in whatever country it purportedly comes from.

Samantha Thavasa is one that comes to mind. She has more stores than Furla in Japan that sell handbags and accessories, and they’re very expensive. Samantha Thavasa is advertised as a NY brand. The funny thing is it’s impossible to find much information about her stuff online in English.

There must be an industry that creates brands just for Japan. I wonder what they really think of Japanese consumers.

It definately pays to be a food-loving foreigner in Japan because you can go into a restaurant just a couple of times and they remember who you are. The latest incident with my husband takes the cake.

There’s an amazing pizzeria about 15 minutes from our house. They serve Neapolitan pizzas, as good as you could get in Italy. Unfortunately, it’s also always crowded, and it’s impossible to get in on weekends. On Saturday, however, we decided to try and get in as soon as it opened at noon, before we caught a movie.

We got there 10 minutes early and lined up to get in. Little did I know that this would be the last time, we’d have to do this. I knew my husband went there pretty regularly for lunch, but I don’t know that he thought of himself as a regular there. Apparently, he is because we were greeted with two glasses of champagne as soon as we ordered “to celebrate the new year.” When my husband paid, he found out that his glass of wine was on the house. The GM also gave us his card and told us to call him if we ever wanted to make a reservation even for weekend lunch. Because lunch is more expensive on weekends than on weekdays, he told us that he would provide “a lot of service” (code word for free stuff) if we came in on weekends.

Now, if I could only figure out how to get this kind of treatment on my own.

I confess. I have a tattoo — a small red heart on my right hip. I got it about 3 years ago, and it still drives my husband crazy that I got it. Those who know me will know that I’m probably the last person on earth to get something like that. To make a long story short, I got it with three other colleagues/friends during a journalism conference in Dallas. I wasn’t entirely sober, but I wasn’t drunk either (just a little bit intoxicated and yes, there is a difference). I had a semi-rude awakening the next morning as reality set in, but I ended up liking it, especially for the shock factor.

What had never occurred to me, however, was the complication it would present in Japan, where tattoos are still linked with the yakuza (Japanese mafia). As a general rule, inns with hot springs ask those with tattoos and other body art to refrain from taking a dip. Although this is a gentle way to reject yakuza, it makes no provisions for the rest of us with tattoos as well.

Band-aids are now my best friends. I slap one on before taking a dip, and the problem takes care of itself. The problem is when I forget my band-aids, which has happened twice. I ended up wrapping a towel around my waist, and skulking around the edge of the bath the first time. But that wasn’t an option the second time, which was actually just last Friday.

Some friends, my husband and I went to LaQua, a hot spring spa in Tokyo after work. I realized as soon as I got there that I forgot my band-aids. Although the front desk was able to provide me with one, it was nearly transparent and didn’t work too well. There’s something sad about skulking in the locker room to clandestinely put a band-aid on your ass to hide a tattoo.